Hopes for a better New Year

Well, December just about broke me... not only was I busy with the holidays, but on December 12th, my husband of nearly 14 years asked me for a divorce.... what to say about that... well, nothing really. I hope that it is a civil divorce, not full of hate and name calling. It was pretty much expected, neither of us have been happy for quite some time, just the thought of it is really a hard pill to swallow.. the kids are not taking it well at all!
In November I was re-contacted by my first husband who is now DRUG FREE!!!! AMEN!!!! however, 18 years of abuse has taken it's tole... anyhow, my oldest son and I are heading to Texas to let Daniel meet is biological father for the first time. Daniel was 4 months old the last time they were together. I am thankful that God has answered years worth of prayers for him to get clean and abandon the drug life... I hope that their re-union is a good thing.. as far as me... I hope I can get through it in one piece. Not sure I ever got over that one... it was a big part of my life...

Therapy Album

I am not sure if I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown or a mid life crisis, but at any rate changes are over coming me. I have been recently contacted by my first love..... first husband. After 18 years of carrying hate in my heart I have finally let it go. I am feeling somewhat free, yet it is a difficult journey for me. I have forgiven but not forgoten. I have been re-living so many long gone emotions and memories. So, I have decided to create a Therapy album to get myself through all of these feelings. I am hoping that by working on it I will find some inner peace and come to terms with the over whelming feelings I have beating in my heart, when it is complete, I will send it on to him, and let him travel though it from my point of view. wish me luck!

There's more than one way to pull a tooth

Dustin, my little discovery kid. He is the one that will pick something apart for no good reason other than to figure out how it works. He never hesitates to think "outside the box". This shot is his newest idea for pulling a loose tooth.. tie one end of dental floss to the tooth, the other to a remote control car and go. After about 20 minutes of trying he came to realize that the tooth was not quite ready to come out, but it sure was fun to watch...LOL

Homecoming 2009

This years homecoming Parade was a little downer for me as I no longer have a "High Schooler" of my own... but I still have to support the local kids. In this picture front and center is my Bryan, he's the one in the US MARINE CORP uniform carrying the flag on the left. He left a boy and came home a man from the boot camp in San Diego. I couldn't be more proud of him. He definately found his calling... and the best part of it all, is that he will see the world Outside of "the Ville"....

Page in the making.....

I utterly plan on making this photo into a page and I should title this page "Ungrateful" however, since Scrapbooking is supposed to be an enjoyable hobby for me I think the title to this one will be, "You'll see"

After a night of crazed 8 and 9 year olds, 9 of them plus my own 2, Kyle was not happy about how the pinata deal went.. He only got to wack it once before his "friend" grabbed it and split it in half.. (Kid needs therapy.. anger management or something) anyhow, Kyle was heartbroaken.. Not because he didn't get any candy... but because the pinata was made by the other little guy in this shot... and it was made for Kyle. He was upset that his other "friend" ruined his great gift in a fashion that was not meant to be.. so I thik "you'll see" will cover this one just fine. That way, one day when he looks back and has kids of his own, he will understand what we were talking about.... he will understand why we try and limit friend parties to only 3-4 friends, and how 9 can get to be overwhelming.... and he will understand that pouting over silly things don't take away from the big picture... we will see later on when he has kids of his own

Frog .... Run For your life!!

This poor little fella should have hoped on home before being caught by Dustin.....

poor thing

Happy Birthday Kyle!

Happy Birthday to my little Hero. Born on September 11, 2001, amidst all the crazy things that happened that day. The pointless terrorism and loss.... he came into the world, and it has been a brighter place ever since.

This is a victory.... Kuddos to my boy~!

YEAH

!!

Feels like winning the Lotto

If you only knew how excited I am to post this. Dustin has struggled with reading for years. We have done everything to help him...... vision therapy ($ 1600 worth plus two trips to Redding a week for 14 weeks), glasses, tutors, one on one, nothing seemed to get him where he needed to be... Last year, we found him books that interested him, Honus and Me, Jackie and Me... baseball greats.. he loved them but would read through them and not understand what he had just read... you can imagine my surprise when I looked out the back door to find this sight. He literally read 120 pages in a day, finished the entire book in a day and a half. AND REMEMBERED MOST OF WHAT IT WAS ABOUT!!!! a true victory for him.. I hope we can keep him interested and continuing to read....

It's all in the details.

This door knob is from the original house when it was built in 1854. We found the door and the hardware in the cellar but it had been painted at least 5 times. After a little elbow grease and an acid bath, we were able to return the door and the hardware to this beautiful piece of work. I just love it. John insists on painting this door white, but I am trying to talk him out of it, as I love the old look of this wood..

Finally a new bathroom just fo rme.

After living in this three story house for over 5 years and only having one bathroom for the sometimes 8 of us, but mostly 5 of us.. it is finally done..(or at least usable). Once we

completed the downstairs, were we added 1000 sq ft. to the house, (a scrapbook studio for me, a third bathroom(still awaiting a sink) and a lower family room), we began converting the old office/scrap room into the new bathroom. YEAH! I love it.. it is a welcome addition to my Sunday Morning Cleaning list... All that is left is some waynes coating on the lower part of the walls and it will be done..

I just feel that I need to voice my thoughts on this subject.. I began following this case when it started on June 10, 1991. At that time I was 5 months pregnant with my oldest son, Daniel. It scared me to think that I would be bringing a child into this kind of world, and I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to be a parent.

Later in life, I was assigned to the Sex offender tracking position at the sheriffs department where I worked and Jaycee's story was never far from my mind. I always hoped that one day, she would be found ALIVE. That day has come and I am so very happy for her and her family that she has escaped her 18 year long nightmare. It bothers me to think of the horrible life she had while in the custody of that SICK and TWISTED man and his EQUALLY SICK and TWISTED wife. It angers me to know that on so many occassions those that are paid to protect her let her down by not going that extra step. I pray that she and her children can get beyond that experience and begin their journey to a somewhat normal life.

Having worked in the field and dealing with the twisted thoughts these monsters have.... I can only hope that California puts this monster and his wife to death. They in fact have "killed" the child she once was and therefore deserve to die. Her children have had to suffer for the acts of 18 years ago and therefore I think that they have "killed" their childhood as well... I would be one of the first (of I am sure millions) to volunteer to pull the plug on them, flip the switch or send that deadly dose into their veins without even batting an eye.

If I could say one thing to Jaycee (and her girls) it would be this; "your life and your nightmare has been shared by me and many others in that we have prayed for your safe return since the early days when you first began that nightmare. I can only imagine and cringe at the thought of what you have been through and I pray that one day, you will find a way to know a happy life. You will forever be in my thoughts and in my heart....

This is a shot of my workspace again, however it also shows my collection of Clost to my Heart stamps. Each box above the desk is supposed to hold 15 sets of CTMH stamps... but I have managed to stuff 20 in each one. On the right side wall are drop down bins that hold brads and clasps, as well as little odds and ends.

Completed albums.... I have a few

This is the wall that I have by far my most treasured items.... it is where my completed albums are. As you can see, I have quite a few..

I also store my prima flowers and my idea books as well as at least 10 years worth of magazines and reference books. I also have rubber stamps plugged in on this bookshelf.. I so need to go through things one day and have a yard sale..

The cabinet of shame...

This is where I have most of my Stampin' Up rubber stamps sets as well as paints, various beads and glues, re-inkers, and ribbon... not to mention my sewing machine, the cricut and my photo printer..And what is a good relaxing spot without a radio?

Every paper crafter needs paper.. I think I have enough ...LOL

This is my paper bookshelf. I have it sorted by color for the most part and then I have various themes sorted. I have both 12 x 12 as well as 8x8, 6x6 and 8 1/2 x 11...

depending on what kind of project I have going. This weekend I hope to start working on Birthday party invitations for Kyle who is turning 8 on Friday, September 11th.. he wants a slumber party with 4 friends..

More pictures of my rooom

This is a storage unit that holds a good selection of my tool and embellishments. Every drawer is labeled to reflect with is in it. Everything from Inks to fabrics.. rub ons and chipboard..... Eventually I will hang some clips down the one side to display pages in progress... if I stare at it long enough an idea eventually shows up and I can finish it and put it into an album. On top of this unit is part of my HUGE collect of Humpback Whales... Just love them.. they remind me of better times when I lived and grew up in southern California..

It is a passion... or is it?

These are pictures of my room, my scrapbooking studio. After 4 long years of work and planning, it finally became reality earlier this year. With only one mishap of flooding...(Dustin left the water on outside and it seeped in a bit), it is finally in a workable order. Every chance I get I go down an immerse myself in some sort of creativity.. it is my safe haven from the toils of the day. The first picture is my workspace... surrounded by pictures and pages and stamps and supplies... it is my happy place

As always, Dustin was thinking ahead. He decided that this gas mask would be a great addition to his ever growing army garb. He was very clear that he would be wearing this for Halloween this year.. How could I resist.. And yes, he wore it everywhere we went...LOL

In TRUE Kyle form, no trip would be complete without a little funnin' around in a costume shop. This is Kyle dressed as "Slash" from Guns and Roses... What a rocker!

Sac-o-tomato Vacation

Not sure what I was thinking when I decided to take Dustin, Kyle and Samantha to Sac for a weekend before school started... but I took them. For the most part it was great fun. We went to Old Sac, the Train Museum and the Sacramento Zoo( a little time at FUNDERLAND too...).. We even ate at Joe's Crab Shack... Dustin was in Heaven!

this is me and Daniel at Graduation.. we were dressed for rainy weather... it wasn't till I looked at this picture that I realized how much taller than me he is....LOL

Daniel and Candice, still tight as peas and carrots. 13 years of school together... and still eachothers best friend.....

Well, graduation is done and over with... they are now officially graduates... ready to head out and take on the world!

If ever a day should pass that I don't say I love you... May never a moment go by without you knowing that I do!

What is a son? A son is a warm spot in your heart and a smile on your lips. In the beginning, he is charminly innocent, puttin ghis complete trust in you. He comes to you for a hand to hold and for the security only your arms can provide. He shares his tales of adventure and knows how proud you are of his discoveries and accomplishments. All his problems can be solved by a hug and a kiss from you, and the bond you share is so strong it is almost tangible...
Time passes, and your innocent little boy starts to test his limits. He lets go of your hand to race into the midst of life without thinking ahead or looking both ways. His problems have grown along with him, and he has learned that you can't always make his life better of kiss his troubles away. He spends much of his time away from you, and though you long for the closeness yo once shared, he chooses independence and privacy. Discoveries and accomplishments aren't as wasy to come by now, and sometimes he wonders about his worth.
But you know the worth of that young man. He is your past and your future. He is hopes and dreams that have made it through each and every disappointment and failure.
In your heart, your son is precious and treasured. Together, you struggle through the years trying to find the right amount of independence for each new state of his life, until finally, you have to learn to let him go.
Now you put your trust in him, leaving that son whom you hold so dear totally in his own care. You hop that he always remembers that you have a hand for him to hold and arms to provide comfort or support. Most of all, you hope that he believes in himself as much as you believe in him, and that he knows how much you love him. By Barbara Cage

Graduation is Fast Approaching.. what will I do

So, graduation is less than two days away and all I can think is what am I going to do with out my Daniel? He is my first born, my best friend, my heart and soul.... and always my "little Man". The last few years have been wonderful.. with the exception of a few months of his sophomore year when he had to test his independence.. but he learned from that. THANK GOD!!!! His last year of high school has been a blast to go through with him... he has such a great group of friends and has such respect for his family.. I am truly a proud momma. I couldn't ask for a better kid.. In just two short days, he will graduate high school and begin his journey into Adult life... and I will be there, standing by him and helping him every step of the way!

Proof that I was at the Prom...LOL

This is last years picture, but he is still the determined little player. This year, he is on the Rockies team with Dustin and John is the coach.. makes going to the games even more intense. At last nights game, Kyle got to pitch for the first time.. IT WAS AWESOME. being the smallest on the team it was great to see so much power pour out of this little wonder.

Awww... another season of Little League. The weather has been great for late night games. This picture is from last year, haven't got the new ones yet, but they are on their way:) This year, Dustin played on the same team.. the Rockies.. only this year, John is the coach.. the best part of this story..... Kyle is on the same team:)

Prom 2009... no I was not my sons date.. I only chaperoned. It was nice to see how grown up all the kids have gotten...that doesn't even sound right, but o'well... it is what it is.

These are my "three Stooges", Bradlee, whom we have been blessed with as an extra son since February. What a great kid... not to mention he has incredible eyes... I couldn't ask for a better friend for Daniel. Candice, my CRAZY neice who has been Daniels best friend literally all of their lives. She has grown into such a beautiful young women... now if I could only a find a pill to give her to calm her down. LOL... and finally my Daniel... what more can I say about him.... he is a great son and my best friend!

Prom 2009, fun times. Although the day did not start out so hot. Saturday, May 9th we held a memorial for my nephew who at 22 years old, was murdered by a drunk friend. It was the most horrible feeling to me. I am getting ready to send Daniel off into the world and I can not even fathum getting a call telling me that my son was gone. I shutter at the mere thought of that loss. Saturday night, was senior prom and I got to chaperone. I put on my formal and got to have a great time with the kids. I am so blessed to be included in his important events.... what a great kid I have!

When did this happen? When did my little boy grow up to be such a man? Graduation is less than 2 months away, and I can already feel the lonely feelings setting in.

What a year

Here we are almost to May and I have no idea where the first part of this year went. Daniel is about to graduate high school... he is the class of 2009.

Finally I am a Blogger

This has been on my list of things to do, but I have never taken the time to actually figure out how to start this, but most of my friends have one, so I figured I better get going on it so that we can all keep up on eachother. So here it goes....